Quotes Categories

Fran Lebowitz Quotes

(1951), American Journalist

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive -- you are leaking.

Category: Appearance

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Category: Beauty

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Category: Character

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Category: Conversation

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Category: Dogs

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Category: Food And Eating

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Category: Food And Eating

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Category: Food And Eating

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Category: Food And Eating

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Category: Humility

Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.

Category: Life And Living

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Category: Mathematics

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step -- it is an old business procedure.

Category: Opinions

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Category: Originality

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word ''collectible'' as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

Category: Parents And Parenting