The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive -- you are leaking.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
Category: Life And Living
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step -- it is an old business procedure.
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word ''collectible'' as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Category: Parents And Parenting