The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.
Category: Books And Reading
Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.
Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. [On Washington D. C.]
Category: Cities And City Life
A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
It is not necessary to have enemies if you go out of your way to make friends hate you.
Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.
Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.
Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today and it will set the pace tomorrow.
Remember when $25, 000 was a success? Now it is a garbage collector.
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
Category: Jokes And Jokers
A liberal is man who will give away everything he doesn't own.
The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet.
A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.
A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.