Quotes Categories

Josh Billings Quotes

(1815-1885), American Humorist, Lecturer

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.

Category: Happiness

There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it.

Category: Health

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Category: Honesty

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

Category: Humility

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

Category: Incredulity

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

Category: Knowledge

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

Category: Knowledge

The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so.

Category: Knowledge

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Category: Life And Living

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

Category: Life And Living

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Category: Life And Living

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

Category: Love

As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.

Category: Marriage

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

Category: Medicine

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Category: Men And Women