Quotes Categories

Josh Billings Quotes

(1815-1885), American Humorist, Lecturer

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Category: Money

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Category: Mother-in-Laws

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

Category: Music

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Category: Perfection

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Category: Perseverance

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

Category: Philanthropists

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.

Category: Pity

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

Category: Places

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

Category: Plagiarism

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

Category: Pleasure

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

Category: Poverty And The Poor

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

Category: Poverty And The Poor

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Category: Poverty And The Poor

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Category: Power

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

Category: Procrastination