I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.
A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.