Quotes Categories

Mark Twain Quotes

(1835-1910), American Humorist, Writer

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Category: Ancestry

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Category: Anger

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Category: Appearance

It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!

Category: Aristocracy

That's what an army is -- a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers.

Category: Army And Navy

The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.

Category: Awards

A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

Category: Babies

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

Category: Babies

A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Category: Bankers And Banking

A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and by, as the days and weeks go on, first he misses this, then that, then the other thing. And when he casts about for it he finds that it was in that house. Always it is an essential -- there was but one of its kind. It cannot be replaced. It was in that house. It is irrevocably lost. It will be years before the tale of lost essentials is complete, and not till then can he truly know the magnitude of his disaster.

Category: Bereavement

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

Category: Bible

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

Category: Bible

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Category: Biography

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

Category: Biography

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

Category: Birds