Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Category: Age And Aging
Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
Category: Alcohol And Alcoholism
The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.
They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Category: Life And Living
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.