Quotes Categories

Ogden Nash Quotes

(1902-1971), American Humorous Poet

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

Category: Marriage

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

Category: Marriage

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Category: New Year

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Category: News

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Category: Obesity

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Category: Office

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Category: Parents And Parenting

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Category: Politicians And Politics

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Category: Professions And Professionals

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Category: Progress

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Category: Remorse

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Category: Repentance

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Category: Riches

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Category: Seasons

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Category: Sin