Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.
There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Category: New Year
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Category: Parents And Parenting
Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
Category: Politicians And Politics
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Category: Professions And Professionals
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.